The Condiment Wars

“Skippy’s or Jif?”

“Jif,” I respond.

“Really? Everyone I knew growing up was all about Skippy’s.” Dana watches me spread Skippy’s and honey onto two slices of multigrain bread.

“And which one is more uppity?” I ask, my fingers now sticky with the butterscotch colored spread.

“Oh, Jif for sure,” Dana asserted.  For some reason, condiments bring up a particularly strong sense of brand loyalty in us. We swear by Heinz or Hutz. The Helman’s connoisseur cringes at the site of Kraft mayo in a friend’s fridge. Oh, but it doesn't stop there. We have stereotypes for those on the opposing team. Condiments have divided the nation, my friends. Forget political parties, in the United States, sure you may play for the red team or the blue team but there’s also French’s and Grey Poupon. We’re a nation drowning in brand name sauce. Who’s side do you play for? What’s your topping of choice?